dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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