then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Terrible idea I love it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
