o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize