if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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