halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
