Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
