you guys were way drunker than both of me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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