You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
