Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
