that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize