I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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