I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
