i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you had me at cake vodka
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
