So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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