I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
