I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
