Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
