i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
