Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
