Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize