Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
