dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
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Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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