I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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