its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
