We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My dick has a subreddit
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
