WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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