I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
