He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
