I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize