im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
