my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I need moral support for this bender
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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