I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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