i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You took a bar mat shot.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
