who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
