you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
