It's like God shit irony all over that family
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
