I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
