Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
