How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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