i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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