I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
