Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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