how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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