With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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