her vagine was all disorganized.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
