i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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