After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
