I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The Olympian is in my bed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
