just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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