So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
