I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
