Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
