That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
