day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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