butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me