Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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