youre lurking in front of me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
