I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
