No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
