Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
