what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
