and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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