4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
