There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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